What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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