Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
