and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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