morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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