Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she peed on how many people?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
