When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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