I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
