pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
