so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just had sex on a roof
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
