Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
