I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
