I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
