If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
the condom got lost in my hair
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize