I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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