and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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