actually, I'm a sock model
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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