Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
