the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
did i just pee glitter
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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