What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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