so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
