...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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