i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
