Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
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There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
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I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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