what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
