I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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