I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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