i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
