sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
