I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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