I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
