And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
