She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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