My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize