I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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