I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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