im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
birth control should be required to get into college
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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