that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Randomize
