also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
