i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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