Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
