i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
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