Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
