Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
