Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
