the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
