I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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