I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
