YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He passed out mid-signature
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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