well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
