if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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