the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
