we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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