sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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