Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
