Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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