a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's blow job season.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
