Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize