im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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