He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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