so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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