Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
