I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
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