he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Randomize