Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
