you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
