i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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